"The Candle In The Window"

The sunshine of Your love bathes me,

When the dark clouds of despair hound me.

You play the sweet melody of hope to me,

When dejection and gloom surround me.

Your love is the crystal brook of my life,

That bounces off the jagged rocks beneath.

And continues to sing on merrily,

Undaunted, unstopped, unabashed and free.

You talk to my soul when no one does,

You lend me an ear when no one does.

All thought that is virtuous comes not but from You,

All hope that keeps me afloat is a gift from You.

You are the sail of my ship,

You are the wind in the sail.

You are my strength and my wings,

You are the wind beneath my wings.

I see not a flower that I don't see You in,

Not a speck of dust that You do not reflect in.

You are in every rustling sound of the leaves,

You are in the song of the whispering breeze.

Each wave that crashes against the shore,

Sings of the mighty glory of Your power.

As it rushes in and ebbs away,

Taking its treasures to the floor.

The setting sun and the rising moon,

In silent submission to Your command,

Never fail to follow, one the other;

Without a question, without demand.

You are the beauty in the face of a baby,

You are the wondrous thought in a noble heart.

You are in love, You are in charity,

You are in every act of nobility.

Every bird that sings, sings of You,

Every star that shines, a reflection of You.

Every branch, every leaf that sprouts in spring,

Your manifestation, each blossom on the twig.

You are the fragrance in every flower,

Every colour in the rainbow is You.

Each drop of rain that softens the heart,

Of a hardened soil, is naught but You.;

You are the noble thought that flashes across,

A pitiless heart, a soul deprived.

You are the tears of a bleeding heart,

You are the joy of a peaceful mind.

You are the fire that melts the soul,

You are the spirit inside the soul.

You are the candle in the window,

That guides my path and drives me home.

It may be I seem to be alone,

But in fact it is never so.

For You are always by my side,

You are always the Other of the two.

KHak Ke Zarray

Hava maiN uRtay yeh KHak ke zarray,
Na janay kis kee haiN KHak ke zarray.

Her aik zarray maiN hai SHabeeh nihaN,
Ye kis ka laKHt-e-jigar THa, ye kis kee jaN.

HazaaroN saal se haiN vohee mah-o-saal,
Ke jin kee haqeeqat ka soCHna hai muhaal.

Ya Ilaahee bata ye maajra kia hai?
Ke jis KHak se uTHa THa KHameer, vaheeN ka hua.

"YaadaiN"

Hava ke dosh pe uRtee uRtee

Yeh kaisee yaadaiN sataa rahee haiN.

Voh kitney beetay dinoN kee yaadaiN

Voh bachpanay kay dinoN kee baataiN.

Voh din jo maa'soomiat maiN guzray,

Kisee bhee JHanjat binaa jo beetay.

Voh apnee CHHotee see piyari dunya,
THa jis maiN koi na GHam na faqa.

THay kitnay sustay shuGHal voh apnay,
Na koi lumhay muqarrar un kay.

Jo jee maiN aya to ho lieay KHUsh,
Na suBHa kee qaid, na shaam ka hosh.

KaBHee deevaroN pe CHaRRh ke baiTHay,
KaBHee daraKHtoN maiN CHHup ke KHalay.

Voh garmeoN kee jalee dopehraiN,
Voh serdeoN kee haseen shamaiN.

Voh GHoNsloN maiN reKHay 'undoN' ko,
UTHa ke hathoN maiN GHaur kerna.

BaRee muhabbat se PHir vaheeN pe,
UnHay jama ke vo laut anaa.

Voh titleoN ko pakeR pakeR ke,
Azad Phir se hava maiN kerna.

GHanay daraKHtoN ke saey maiN voh,
Kitab lay ke mudhosh hona.

KahaaN voh lumhay gaey suhaanay,

Voh jo THay merey giraN  KHazanay.

Hui haiN yaadaiN meree sahailee,

Yeh umr-e-rafta kee haiN pahelee.

KaBHee jo dil ho udaas mera,

KaBHee jo GHao ho jaaN pe gehra.

Yeh yaadaiN mera haiN dil LuBHatee

Meree nazar se guzartee jatee.

Ye rooh perver puraanee yaadaiN,

Gaey dinoN kee suhaanee yadaiN.

I was going to travel soon. It was very exciting and I looked forward to my flight in about a month from the day. Just as I was going through the travel documents, I was horrified to discover that my passport was expiring in two months. I would not be able to travel on this one as airlines require that your passport be valid for at least six months from the date of travel. I would have to get a new passport!!!

As a first step, I went online to check the requirements and procedure on the official website of the Pakistan Embassy. From what I gathered, it did not look to be very daunting. All I needed was my original ID card and my old passport, and my physical presence at the office. It looked very simple at the face of it.

After enough discourse, it was decided that in order to get the passport back in time, my son would have take the day off from work and take me to the Consulate of Pakistan in New York on Monday.

This also happened to be the first day of Ramzan. Even though I had clarified with the clerk at the office about Ramzan timings, I thought it would be prudent to make sure one more time. And so I called. There was no answer. I called again...and again...and again; still no answer. It was now close to 9:30 AM. Somebody should have been in the office half an hour ago. It was very disappointing. Finally when I did get a response, I was told to be there before 12:30, or else my application would not be entertained. Coming from someone who suffered from tardiness himself, that was a strange request.

 It was kind of rush hour time, but my son managed to reach us at the Consulate before 11:00 AM. Because it was Monday, there was not even a slim chance of finding a parking place close to the office, so we decided that I should go in and get the work done while my son waited outside in the car. It was hot in NY and I felt guilty but it seemed to be the only option.

I got out of the car and looked up at the building and the green and white flag hanging over the main entrance. I felt a sudden warmth and pride at seeing my flag but something clutched at my heart. My feeling of joy was a little jaded as I noticed that the flag's edges were tattered and the colour faded; almost a reflection of the nation's condition at present. I went inside; it was as if I was not in Manhattan NY, but in some mis-managed, ill kept government institution back home.

The first thing that hit me was the absence of would be visa seekers. Except for one Greek looking elderly gentleman, there was not a soul to be seen in the visa section. Nobody wants to visit my country, I thought. How sad that the world knows only the dark side of the people there, and has no opportunity to find out what the place is actually like. But we have only ourselves to blame. Sigh!!!

People who were there for the same purpose as I was ie. passport renewal, were either sitting or standing in the inadequately furnished small room. There was no concept of a queue, or the order of 'first come first served'. After making sure I was not cutting ahead of anybody out of my turn, I approached the window. The unsmiling, curt gentleman on the other side ordered, "original passport and ID". I produced them from my bag and pushed them through the small opening in the glass. "Photo copy of both". I said I didn't have any so he told me to go to another section of the room where I saw a phtocopying machine. After a few futile, abortive attempts, I asked a gentleman for assistance and finally managed to make the required copies. I went back to the window where my spot had conveniently been taken over, or given over, to a gentleman. After a few minutes the clerk was gracious enough to accept my papers after which he thundered, " money order ". When I showed signs of confusion as to where to get the money order from, he directed me to go outside the building, turn right and decend down a staircase into the basement. Following the instructions I reached a small room where I found this small lady perched on a high stool behind the window. Dressed in a blue sequined dress, her eyelids painted just as blue, she was talking to some relative or friend long distance. When I extracted my bank card to make the payment, she barked in a monosylable,"cash"! I told her I was not carrying any cash on me to which she unsmilingly said, "go and get it from a bank". As if there was any other place I could get it from.

 I had no choice but to exit the building and find an ATM machine where I could get the required cash. Luckily I found one just a block away. I walked over and got the money and came back to the 'lady in blue', whose mood was even bluer. She made the money order and charged a few dollars as fee. Taking the certificate of payment, I came back to the main building once again and handed it to the man behind the window. He took it from me, stapled it to the previous documents, and started dealing with the next customer, without giving me further instructions. I waited for about ten minutes and then asked him what he wanted me to do. He handed back all the papers to me and told me to go to another section in the building where they were going to take up the process from there.

Thankfully,this section was slightly more civilized and looked and smelled cleaner.

Anyway, I walked through a couple of glass doors and came upon this office where three gentlemen sat working a little more professionally. There was more order here too; people were waiting to be called for their turn at the official's desk. When I was called, I approached the table and was asked to be seated. Again I was asked to show the passport and ID card, which I did. The young officer asked me if I also had the NICOP because the data on the screen showed him that I had one. So when I told him I did, he told me to get a photocopy of that too; which I did, without assistance this time :)

Then I was fingerprinted and photographed and asked to verify the details I had supplied.

After one and a half hour and being robbed of $125, I emerged from the building to see my son patiently waiting in the car, in the summer heat of NY, bless him.

As I sat in the car and fastened my seat belt, I could not help but reflect on what had transpired inside the building that carried the name of Pakistan and flaunted the flag of the country we belong to.

Why was I charged $120 instead of $46? I was in no rush as my travel date was a month away.The Consulate's website said the normal handling was ten to fifteen days with a fee of $46, and urgent fee was $120 which would reduce the processing time to three to four days. But the officials at the office disclosed that the normal delivery time could take three weeks or longer and the urgent processing time was ten to fifteen days. Why was the information on the official website conflicting with the actual procedure in the office? Why were there no instruction signs put up in the various departments? Why was it not possible to pay by card, as is the case in all civilized offices? And why did the 'blue lady in blue' charge me more than she did some others? Why was she even in the picture at all? Who was benefitting from another agency which was making profits on money that should be going straight into the coffers of the government?Why is our government staff not trained to handle customers with more respect and civility?

When will we start taking pride in ourselves as a nation? When will we decide that a country develops only when each citizen focuses at least as much on giving back as he does on extracting from her? When will we, as a nation, conciously conduct ourselves in a manner befitting a proud, independent, sovereign country? Are we lesser human beings that it does not occur to us?

All these questions have only one answer; we have become so irredeemably selfish, incompetent and dishonest that we do not care. We have become the proverbial cabbage leaf that the raindrops slide off without wetting.

Let us stop and think. Unless we change our ways, we cannot improve anything. We have lost the few good values and practices that we used to follow fifty sixty years ago. Filth, chaos, intolerance and uncivil behaviour have become our hallmarks.

We have to stop the apathy that we find ourselves steeped in. We have to work very hard to make our country what it has the potential to be; a Jewel. We must realize that every moment of our official time belongs to our nation. We have no right to usurp it to our own ends.

We have to allow new ideas to flow in so that we can shed the myopic vision we have all fallen prey to. We have to prove the present day concept of the world about us wrong. Our country is a precious piece of land where we have every blessing under the sky available to us. We have beautiful people inhabiting the various regions of our beautiful land. Let us not label them with any classification except 'Pakistani'; for that is what we are. Let us make it safe for people of the world to visit our country and discover the unlimited charms it has to offer; the ocean, the rivers and valleys, the majestic mountains in the north and the sprawling deserts in the south.

Let us not forget that our country is the only home we have. We have our roots here, why not make sure that we have our fruits here too. Let us remind ourselves of the dreams of Allama Iqbal and Quaid-e-Azam and work towards their fulfillment.

We have gained so much from Pakistan; let us start giving something back to her.

Let us give a new voice, a new face to our country. We already have more than most countries do, to build on.

Let us make it the 'jewel' it can be.

We are proud to be Pakistani; let Pakistan be proud of us too.