I walked down the aisles in the book store, not particularly looking for anything. As I walked past endless shelves of books, one aisle that said " Parenting " caught my eye. I stopped and started browsing through the various titles under that heading. It was just amazing; there was not a single aspect of parenting that was not available in the form of books there. Every stage of parenthood was discussed and the authors had elaborated upon the subject in great detail.
These books provided information on everything, from how to hold a newborn baby to how to feed him and put him to bed. How to create a friendly environment around the baby and what to expect at different stages of his growth.
How wonderful, I thought, and how convenient for new parents, especially in today's fast world where lifestyles have changed so much. These books now do the job that grandparents used to do in olden days when joint family system was still the norm and grandmothers knew through experience what to do. They had remedies for everything. More than anything, they gave of their love freely and readily. Their affection was not regulated by the hours of day and night.
With the help of these books, parents are equipped with a sea of knowledge on how to bring up their children. Technically, this should help make them better parents than their own. But does it?
I must say here that I do not hold a grudge against most modern ideas, but I do feel that there should be a point where one should be able to draw the line; especially in a situation which involves something as precious as a little baby.
Every child is born unique. Not even siblings are too similar in their personality. How, then, can the same instructions from a book be followed to handle babies universally? The physical and emotional requirements of each child are different, and so they have to be treated differently too.
While these books are quite a treasure, one would be well advised to use them sparingly. Not every knowledge comes from books. Certain things come only with observation and handling.
Do not take away your baby's pacifier ( ie. in case you have taken the liberty to disobey the rules given in your book and given your baby a pacifier in the first place) just because the book says to do so at such and such age. If it 'pacifies' your baby, let him use it. There is no point in suddenly taking away an object from him which will only result in his howling and disrupting the peace of the entire household.
Does your baby want to cuddle you and sleep in your bed sometimes? Does she crawl into your bed in the middle of the night? Do you take her right back to her own crib because the book says that's the right thing to do? If you realize how soon time will fly and it will be time for her to leave home, you will let her enjoy the warmth of your love as long as possible.
Do not be too hasty to follow instructions given by a person sitting thousands of miles away, who does not even know your baby. You are her parents. Take the trouble to discover what your child needs.
Give your child the security and comfort that comes from your love and the warmth of your affection. Do not expect her to grow up faster than she should. She is entitled to go through different stages of life at her own pace. When you hasten her on, you may achieve what you desire but at the cost of something more precious which you may regret later.
Children, as they grow older, grow out of habits as they become concious of their oddity.
So, while you are measuring the quantity of his food intake to the last grain, try not to limit his requirement of love, attention and affection from you.
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